Melusine has some definite issues as a first novel. It’s setting doesn’t feel quite fully fleshed out — even if one gives the author the benefit of the doubt and believes things are left unanswered for plot purposes and are “to be revealed later.” If that’s the case, the reader could have done with a bit more revelation early on, especially with regard to the politics which drive so much of the characters’ motivations. Without that background, their actions run the risk of seeming arbitrary just for the sake of plot.
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thanks for the review-- liked your distinction between how younger and older readers might respond, what they might react differently…
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you are doing well. keep in up.