Rename that Cover: Is that Ominous Tower Staring at My Cleavage?

fantasy and science fiction book reviewsIt’s time again for another Rename that Cover post. I love these posts, and they are almost always the hardest for me to do because there is an unbelievable amount of awful cover art out there to choose from. It was quite difficult deciding which one to pick on today, so I decided it was best to go with the one that has cleavage. Who wouldn’t?

I’m not exactly sure what this cover wishes to convey to the reader. Is she worried about a potential wardrobe malfunction? Maybe she stepped in something squishy while walking barefoot and  is now pondering what it might be? Whatever she is up to, it makes for an awkward and amusing cover that is ripe for renaming. We’ll pick our favorite new title for this cover from the comments below, and reward you with a book of your choice from our stacks.


FOLLOW:  Facebooktwitterrsstumblr  SHARE:  Facebooktwitterredditpinteresttumblrmail

JUSTIN BLAZIER (on FanLit's staff since September 2009) is a Cyber-Security Analyst/Network Engineer located in Northern Kentucky. Like many fantasy enthusiasts, Justin cut his teeth on authors like Tolkien, Anthony, and Lewis. Due to lack of space, his small public library would often give him their donated SFF books. When he is not reading books he is likely playing board games or Tabletop RPGs. Justin lives in a quiet neighborhood with his wife, their daughter, and Norman the dog.

View all posts by

12 comments

  1. I want to say “Just Breathe” because she reminds me of Drew Barrymore in Ever After.

  2. LOL.. I was just about to say the same thing when I saw your comment, Kelly.

  3. The thing I liked best about this cover, relative to the book is that it had nothing to do with the book (expect maybe for the tower). That isn’t unusual, of course. The first-person narrator would doubtless be flattered to see herself portrayed as so glamorous and so cleavage-endowed.

    Should Lionel Ritchie be crooning, “Hello! Is It Me You’re Looking For?” in the background?

  4. Kelly, I’m afraid that if she just breathes, they’ll pop out. I think it should be “Just Don’t Breathe.”

  5. How about this for a cover name: “Prithee, methinks the castle was left unlocked. Where hast thou put my keys?” or for short, “Hast Thou Forgotten to Lock Up?”

  6. Sir Read-a-Lot /

    Since there’s nothing quite like making fun of entirely unrelated books:

    “Looking confused with a creepy tower in the background: How I resisted the urge to smooth my skirts and fold my arms under my breasts. Thank goodness my hair isn’t in a braid.”

  7. Did I leave the gas switched on?

  8. “What has happened to this generic fantasyland when a girl can’t take a walk without someone taking her picture for a fantasy book cover?”

  9. I have to say, though, that I do actually like this cover. :)

  10. Sara M. /

    Art thou hiding a creepy tower in thy breeches or art thou just happy to see my spellbook and globes?

  11. “Does this tower make my butt look big?”

  12. Mark, if you live in the USA, you win a book of your choice from our stacks. Please contact me (Tim) with your choice and a US address.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Book Bits #71 – Esi Edugyan takes Giller Prize, Lending Library Ire, KY Book Fair | Malcolm's Book Bits and Notions - [...] Rename that Cover: Is that Ominous Tower Staring at My Cleavage? – “I’m not exactly sure what this cover…

Review this book and/or Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be published.