Sea Witch: Sea witch words and punctuation marks we can omit

Sea Witch by Helen Hollick

I really enjoyed Helen Hollick’s trilogy about King Arthur, and I love pirates, so I had very high hopes for this historical fantasy. Therefore, I was extremely disappointed that I couldn’t even get past chapter five of Sea Witch. The story and the characters seemed promising, and I know from past experience that Ms. Hollick tells a good tale, but the writing was so badly done that I couldn’t continue. I had to keep re-reading paragraphs in order to understand what was going on. It’s not that I don’t understand nautical language — I have read and loved all 21 of Patrick O’Brien’s Master and Commander series. Rather, horribly constructed sentences completely distracted me from the story.

The book was published by Discovered Authors and printed by BookForce UK, and this, I suppose, is the problem. It doesn’t look very professional, and I’m wondering if they edited it at all because the entire book contains a jumble of nearly incomprehensible sentences containing, random, haphazardly, placed, commas, or usually no commas at all and some sentences are run-ons and many have no subject or they have incorrect punctuation here are some examples that come from just a few pages close, together, and you can see what I mean I hope:

• “Mother was already in the next world, gone to God, except while she hanged the jeering mob had shouted that a woman who plunged a knife into the heart of her own husband was of the Devil’s breeding and would burn in Hell.” [page 11]
• “Her sight enhanced by her ability of Craft she needed no telescope to put to her eye.” [page 14. She might not need a telescope, but she definitely needs a comma.]
• “Astern on the quarterdeck, stood their captain, smarter dressed than his crew, a buckram coat, white breeches; a red, feathered plume in his cocked hat.” [page 14. Ah, there’s the missing comma — You gotta watch those sneaky fellas.]
• “The men, used to the incredible noise and the acrid stink, took no notice, began running in and re-loading with barely a pause.” [page 17. Could I trade a comma for a conjunction?]
• “He had a sudden urge to look at that child properly; spun on his heel and hurried up the companionway steps to the shattered chaos of the quarterdeck, claimed the telescope from beside the ship’s compass, mercifully, both still intact. Extending the tube to its full length, was about to raise it to his eye when Malachias, his face covered in blood, called his name and distracted his attention.”[I did not make that up — it’s on page 25.]

The entire book goes on with these awkward sentences (I flipped through to check). I’m betting that the story was interesting, but it was so laborious to read that it just was not fun. I’m so disappointed in this novel, but I do recommend Ms. Hollick’s historical fiction.

update: After seeing this review, Ms.  Hollick apologized for the “shoddy copy” and has offered to send me a newer and better-edited copy. If I take her up on her offer and like the book better, I will change this review.