Bedeviled: This series needs some fine-tuning

Bedeviled by Sable Grace

At the end of the first DARK BREED novel, Ascension, Kyana turned her witch friend Haven into a vampire/lycanthrope hybrid in order to save her from certain death. But Haven is taken over by the evil god Cronos, who wants to use her to bring himself back to life and usher in his new reign. Most of the Order wants to see Haven killed to end the threat. Kyana is the only one who still believes in her friend, so it’s important that Kyana find Haven first — no one else will ask questions first and shoot later, so to speak. But Kyana is changing too. Artemis has passed her powers on to Kyana, and as Kyana absorbs them, she begins to lose her original psychic link with Haven, and her own familiar abilities are replaced by new ones that she’s not used to yet.

Bedeviled picks up where Ascension left off, and follows Kyana in her race against time to capture Haven before she can raise Cronos. Kyana is dealing with a second struggle as well: her commitment-phobia regarding her lover, Ryker, the son of Ares. Ascension was a fun light read and Bedeviled continues in that vein, with plenty of action and sex, and the book delivers major movement on both the fantasy and romance plot threads.

This time, though, I found that some issues nagged at me. I’m not sure if they’re more prevalent in Bedeviled than in Ascension, or if I simply glossed over them in book one because I was drawn in by other aspects of the novel. Here, there are several problems that affected my enjoyment of the story.

First, the writing doesn’t flow as smoothly this time, especially in scenes where both Kyana and Ryker are present. The point of view will abruptly jump back and forth between them in the middle of a scene.

The second problem is Kyana’s abrasiveness. She’s always been abrasive, but began to grow a little more likable by the end of Ascension. Here, there are moments where she seems to have taken a step backward. The example that stands out to me is her treatment of the witch Sixx. Kyana is rude to Sixx for pretty much no reason — other than that she’s attractive and dating Kyana’s ex — but then is perfectly willing to use Sixx when she needs something from her. It’s annoying.

Finally, Bedeviled just feels like it needs more fleshing out. Things kept being mentioned that might have added depth to the story if they were explored further. Kyana gets a new set of sidekicks as a part of her Artemis powers; they perform one mission for her and then vanish from the story, not to be mentioned again. Kyana notes that she knows some of the Order members who die in a battle, but doesn’t expand upon who they are or even think of them ever again, so the impact of their deaths is lost. Settings are described so sparely that at times it felt like the action was taking place against a green screen.

Again, the Sable Grace duo provides plenty of plot movement, and so far I plan to keep reading the series because I’m interested in where this post-apocalyptic-Greek-gods scenario is headed. However, the series will need some fine-tuning if it is to continue to hold my interest.