It’s time for our annual Fantasy Limerick contest!
Your task is to create a limerick that has something to do with speculative fiction. It could be about a character, a series, an author, or whatever fits the theme. Here are the rules for creating a good limerick (quoting from this source). A limerick:
- is five lines long
- is based on the rhythm “da-da-DAH” (anapest meter)
- has two different rhymes
- Lines 1, 2, and 5 have three of those da-da-DAH “feet,” and rhyme with each other.
- Lines 3 and 4 have two, and rhyme with each other.
- You can break the meter rules if there’s a good reason. You may
- drop the first “da” in a line, changing that foot to da-DAH
- add an extra “da” or two at the end of a line IF it’s used for an extended rhyme, such as cannibal and Hannibal
- The best limericks are funny or witty or clever.
So, the meter goes like this:
da da DAH / da da DAH / da da BING
da da DAH / da da DAH / da da DING
da da DAH / da da BAM
da da DAH / da da WHAM
da da DAH / da da DAH / da da PING
As an example, here’s the winning limerick (by Arcanist Lupus) from last year’s contest:
The Bay’s home to more than just mud
and streets where the parking is crud.
Let all changelings beware
when the scent in the air
is the fragrance of roses and blood.
And here is the winning limerick (by Ben) from 2015:
The day came that I had been dreading,
It would surely end in beheading
and my family depressed
as they murdered their guests,
Never go to a Westeros wedding
Your turn!
The author of the limerick we like best wins a book from our stacks or a FanLit T-shirt (sizes avail are S – XL). If you live outside the US, we’ll send a $7 Amazon gift card.
There’s a song of ice and of fire
that so many fans really admire.
But there’s really no time
to write the last line
as the author will likely expire.
(IN HONOR OF HARRISON FORD’S BIRTHDAY TODAY:)
Big greetings to Harrison Ford,
About whom we’re out of our gourd,
He’s here and alive,
Turning 75,
So HA! to that nasty Sith Lord!
It upended that life that he’d built
and wracked him with unending guilt
For it was Kushiel’s Dart
That pierced Joscelin’s heart
and Elua bade “Love as thou wilt”
The Foundation relies on its Plan,
Not on anything done by a man.
Now a mutant named Mule
Is making Seldon a fool
Bayta stops him when no one else can.
In a country of fire and ice,
Lived a family oddly quite nice,
‘Till the patriarch, Ned
To the king lost his head,
Then the land was all dicey and slice.
A limerick by R2D2 to the Death Star’s main computer
01010
011110
1011
0011
11111110
To be read as:
zero-one zero-one zero,
zero-one one-one-one zero,
one-zero one-one,
zero-zero one-one,
one-one one-one-one one one-zero
Awesome, Camestros!
I think you need to provide us with the English translation too, Camestros! :)
Anna Nimmhaus from File 770 wants to contribute this:
My first love is fiction that speculates,
If original or even if peculate.
So long as it’s fun
It can preach a sermon
But those dull ranters’ notion of heck’s too late.
Thanks Anna!
Just one abomination suffices
To throw the whole world into crisis
A machine he requires
To fulfill his desires
And to build a great many devices
(The book in question, in case you missed it, is Devices and Desires by K J Parker)
“What’s fantasy,” do you inquire?
Why, it forms a genre entire
Defined not by magic
Nor fate bleak and tragic
But limitless paths to inspire.
Um, how many are we allowed to enter?
I don’t think there is a limit.
Thanks Marion :)
When Maia, a child long neglected,
By death to the throne was directed,
He started a stranger
To court’s deadly danger
But found help he never expected.
There was a young man from Camorr,
Whose lies became legend and lore,
His tongue was like silver,
His hands deft and clever,
But always was left wanting more
~
There once was a man, lost a finger;
Whose presence no-one wanted to linger,
He went on a quest,
Saw a marvellous chest,
And his death was a bloody hum-dinger
~
(My favourite) :
There was a young man name of Kvothe,
“Not quite like that,” he doth quothe,
It caused some confusion,
But one spoke in delusion,
“I think you will find it’s ‘Covfefe'”
haha, that last one’s too real-world to be fun, Bethan. :)
Aw bum, I took inspiration from Rothfuss’ reaction to the whole cvofefe debacle ^_^
Take Middle-Earth’s races and fashion,
Repackage them all with dispassion,
Then call it “Shannara”
And, to Tolkien’s horror,
Relax and start raking the cash in.
(It helps if you pronounce “Tolkien” with two syllables.)
Ouch! :)
I can’t recall each of the times
A single man’s thwarted my crimes.
Hear this, all you scum
Of the ol’ Mended Drum:
Beware of a copper named Vimes!
I love adventures in the stars,
Whether starships, or satellite bars.
Give me lasers or guns,
And cunning smuggler’s runs,
I want epic voyages afar.
The final frontier lay ahead
His taste for adventure’d be fed
As he shook hands with Spock
His joy turned to shock
When Kirk gave him a shirt that was red
So what do you win if you win?
Oops! Sorry, Wolf. We left that info off. I’ve added it to the bottom of the post.
Aw no US only! D: Amazon gift voucher for outside US?
Yeah, we could do a $7 Amazon gift voucher outside US (about the cost of t-shirt and shipping)
A PI and a faerie knight,
Toby’s caught in ev’ry changeling’s plight:
Though her blood says she’s Fae,
She’s too mortal to play
Toe-to-toe against pure blood spite.
Davy Jones walked the last bit of plank
Left his soul to the gulls and then sank
Far beneath the waves swell
Not to heaven or hell
But a locker-room on George’s Bank.
[Snort!]
I like it!
A fantastical beast, I desire.
Like that dragon from beyond the Shire.
Or something from Trent.
Yes, she’s seen the best!
George, write me a dire that breaths fire!
Like most girls from the Middle Ages,
Illiterate with no use for pages,
Wanted to get kissed,
Wound up Born of Mist,
Now Vin waves in nobleman wages.
On a planet that’s one big bureaucracy,
With a president who’s escaped the plutocracy,
The whole galaxy’s run afoul
But don’t panic, bring a towel,
The sad robot will call out hypocrisy.
You twitch as the music begins
Then the voice of Rod Serling chimes in,
So, buckle up child
‘Cause the ride will be wild,
And the nightmares undoubtedly grim.
Fantasy Fatigue
When the thing they’re all writing is grit
and now dragons and wizards are shit
You read characters grim
and some GRRM
Must be time to pull out The Hobbit!
Aanander’s rule was so vicious
Awn Elming’s death so capricious
Radchaai Breq’s plan commences
Ancillary Revenge is
A dish that’s best served with fish sauce
Bek
There once was a fantastic play
Filled with darkness, horror and dismay
The zombies arrived
And the vampires survived
And the werewolves could prowl in the day
I just heard George Romero has passed,
And thought how long his genre will last.
Of zombies there’s no lack,
But will George be back
To lead “Father of the Living Dead”‘s cast?
I was wondering about how to make a zombie reference that is still respectful of Romero. I think you managed it.
Thank you. The industry, genre, and pop culture in general owes him a huge debt. I was aiming for respectful, and hope I got it right.
You did.
Another from Anna Nimmhaus:
Jack Vance gave us the book _Dying Earth_.
Of strange color it sure has no dearth.
But for all of its diction,
It’s still science fiction.
At the end, chalk up higher its worth.
A couple, a dozen, a score
then slowly there came more and more
shambling out of the grains
all while moaning for “Braaaaaaaaaains”
for their father has crossed the far shore.
There was a poor orphan named Potter
Who overcame many a plotter.
He had quite a struggle,
Though he was no Muggle,
But he beat Voldemort, that old rotter.
Sophie Hatter of talents galore
Aged ungracefully in Dad’s hat store.
Old and frail were her jowls,
Loud and legion her Howls,
And the denouement dealt her one more.
You may think that you know very well
That the Fool is a boy (or a gel)
But did Starling know best?
Has Fitz seen him undressed?
Just don’t ask Robin Hobb – she won’t tell
This was a really hard decision because these are all so good — and so different. But I listened to my heart and the winner is Mark E. Henaghen for his Romero limerick eulogy.
Mark, if you live in the USA, you win a book of your choice from our stacks.
Please contact me (Marion) with your choice and a US address. Happy reading!
Hi 2017 Limerickers, we’re doing the 2018 limerick contest here:
https://fantasyliterature.com/giveaway/thoughtful-thursday-fanlits-2018-sff-limerick-contest/
We hope you can contribute!
(And sorry if you get multiple notifications. I’m commenting on each previous limerick contest.}
Greetings to the limerickers from FanLit’s 2017 Limerick contest. Our 2020 contest is in progress here: https://fantasyliterature.com/giveaway/fanlits-2020-sff-limerick-contest/
We hope to hear from you!
Greetings to the limerickers from FanLit’s 2017 Limerick contest.
Our Tenth Annual contest is in progress here: https://fantasyliterature.com/giveaway/tenth-annual-speculative-fiction-limerick-contest/
We hope to read another of your amazing creations!