Harry Connolly spent two years writing his first novel, Child of Fire. He has held a variety of jobs in the past, from customer service to landscaping to stay-at-home dad. He lives in Seattle, Washington. Here’s 
Child of Fire by Harry Connolly
Ray Lilly works for Annalise Powliss, a sort of enforcer among sorcerers, and he’s terrified of her. She wants to kill him, but she’s been forbidden to, and so is forced to settle for using him as a chauffeur and hired hand in all things magical and mundane.
On their first outing, they work together to help a family whose child has just spontaneously combusted before their eyes, ultimately dissolving into a mass of fat, wriggling, silver-gray worms. But the family doesn’t want their help;
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Narrated by Samuel L. Jackson....
On a more serious note, well, shoot. I was torn between reading James by Percival Everett, or rereading Hard-Boiled Universe…
"Goodnight F***ing Moon?" Hahahahahahahaha!
Your intro had me laughing my f***ing a** off! Especially the Caterpillar!
Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn is my favorite fantasy series. It's fantastic. I've been holding off on starting The Last King…